WHY DO YOU LOOK SO HOT ON THOSE LONG SLEEVES?!?!
Really, I think I should be stopping this now. All of this crush thing. This butterfly-kind of stuff. This starky stalking.
Seriously. Stalking is creepy.
Maybe, just maybe, I was thinking that I might be freaking you out. I know you don’t know me but I know you notice me. I am thinking that you are fully aware of my presence with all this heart flushing around me every night I see you. Not a single night I missed gazing at you in any way.
Maybe you’re thinking that I’m weird? Which I am but not in a bad sense. I’m just being weird and really awkward around you. I tend to get loud and silent at the same time which is weird and periperally gazing at your existence. Or peeking.
I think that my stalky presence is overwhelming you. My goodness! All of this assumptions are way over the top. I just don’t want to scare you. If I’m really freaking you out.
I really should stop. I know I’m out of your league. Nothing to flourish. Nothing to pursue. Not. Your. Type. Some time when I had that moment when I knew that you were actually staring at me and I was like staring at you too while you were walking, there was this magical scene happened where everything gets blurry and sparkly and everything was bright except for you who was the only clear and vivid looking at me and I was like dumbfounded mesmerized at you. It was happiness but I know for a fact that its nothing and just merely acknowledging my presence in any essence.
I must stop this imaginary flirtation at you. This is really getting out of hand. I’m starting to get out of focus. I must concentrate on my new work. I should be getting busy with my life. I might just be assuming all of this.
The hell! You might not be giving a fuck anyway! Why would you give a damn on me if I’m on a different league?
lloyd-voldemort said: Hey mark:) salamat sa pagfollow:)) gandang hapon sayo
hi lloyd! salamat din sa unang pafollow.. magandang umaga naman para sayo.. sana maenjoy mo ang blog ko kahit minsan lang ako magpost.. :)
Its dark.. Im just not quite sure if its after evening or before dawn. But one thing is for sure, its dark.
I’m on my way home. Its a long way. I can’t remember where I’ve been but I’m taking the jeepney ride on my way home. Its almost full and ready to go. I sit on the left side, third person from the open door. A couple of strangers get in and then we’re off.
I’m not familiar with the road we’re taking. I’m start to have this thought that I’m been in a vacation but I also have this feeling that I’ve just been from work or from a night out. The darkness makes it more difficult to determine where I am now. There are street lights but it won’t help. There is also a train railroad above us.
Everyone is minding their own business. Texting. Reading. Chatting. I’m busy listening to songs in my music player. I starting to have this suspicion there is something wrong in here or maybe there something’s gonna happen along the way so I decided to not use my phone and keep it inside my left pocket.
I kept on observing the surroundings. Its still dark outside. There is no sign of dawn breaking but the breeze feels like the sun is about to rise. There are no railroads above us now. No buildings on both sides of the way. I can see grasses and trees and dark horizon.
The transport start to slow down but I heard nobody that will alight the jeep. Someone stops us. My stomach starts to have a life of its own. It start to twist somehow. Its not painful, but the kind of twist that something not good is about to happen. Gut feel. I look outside again. There are now street lights and buildings and railroad above us. We come to a complete stop.
A woman pass by the other side of the jeep together with a couple of men and women. My gut says I should be hating her. My face is all prepared on what will happen next while everybody else is wondering.
The woman stand in the door leaning on its steal frame, smiling. She said something like this: “You all think we’re riding this jeep? No. We’re just plain thieves, hijacking this jeep.”
The woman get inside and squeeze herself between the passengers in front of my seat. The crooked smile never left her face though he struggle to squeeze in.
A few more hijackers get in and start asking for everybody’s valuable. Nobody is moving and resisting and everybody is complying and cooperating with them. Everybody is defiant Afraid to get hurt. I don’t see any weapon or knife from anyone of them. I’m almost the next one they’re asking. I don’t have any other option too. I want to hide my iPhone somewhere but I think that it would be pretty obvious if a young guy like me don’t have any phones so I decided to give it up.
My music player is another internal argument. I decided to sneak my hand and manage to remove the earphone jack out of it.
Now its my turn to comply. I give them my iPhone and my wallet but I hold on to my music player. I’m trembling. Afraid to get caught. The woman in front of me is the one holding all the guys are getting from us. I talk to her and ask if I can have my social security id just for my identification. Her face was amused with my bravery but she just smiled at me and the guys push me out of the vehicle. As they push me outside, I accidentally let go of my music player.
It fly to the corner seat of the jeep. I thought I’m going to get caught by that but they just keep on pushing me outside. Once I’m out, they start pushing the passenger outside too. As they push this one lady, she noticed my music player and grab it. They saw what she did and they ask what’s in her trembling hands. I don’t know what happened next.
I decided to walk away from the hijacking. It is still dark and I still don’t know where I am. I decided to wander around. I don’t know what will happen to me next. I don’t have any identification if I got into any accident. I got no money and I’m starving. I got nothing to communicate with my family. The feeling of loneliness makes me afraid.
I keep walking with nothing but a bag, an empty stomach and a jacket on my hand. Nobody is around now. I guess I walk my fear that far away from where the hijackers take my things. I can’t even see residents around. I’m all alone in this streetlight lit darkness.
I’m starting to feel hopeless and more fear. I almost shout when a hand hold my shoulder from behind. I first thought of the thieves. I don’t want to die yet. I told myself. I slowly look behind me. I am gratified. I feel a sense of relief when I see the least familiar face I’ve met. The least person I expected to see.
Its my gym trainer, Jay. He’s wearing a tank top and shorts, and he is holding a paper bag full of groceries.I don’t know what or why he is here but I’m glad he recognize me. He ask me what I am doing here and I told him my tragic story. He ask me if I want to come with him, Since I have no plans of wandering around here any longer, I decided to go with him. Though I barely know him, he is the least stranger that I’m with right now. I have to trust him.
After a few silent walk, we get inside this small house, I guess he lives here. Its too quiet. I’m wondering where is everybody. Where is his wife, his child and the others I saw in the picture when I viewed his Facebook account? He left me alone in their living room while he place the groceries in the kitchen. I look around the place my eyes are visible. It is a humble home, I thought.
I was on my back when he came back in the living room. When I look at him he is now half naked, wearing only his shorts and showing his sculptured body. The gym must be paying off. He ask for me to stay for a while and take a rest. I want to ask where is everybody but I decided to shut my mouth and just nod. Then he left the room.
was your face.
It was like the most beautiful dream I have ever seen.
"Have you heard the news? He’s leaving soon."
And that broke my heart.
Its too sad to hear that my crush is resigning. As if at some point in my life you ran out of reason to go to work.
Yes I know its too exaggerated, but in this kind of environment where almost everybody ran out of reason to be motivated, you really need something to inspire you even the slightest. Even if it just a mere kind of admiration.
Its not everyday you’re gonna find someone who will make you giggle without doing anything. That eventhough he doesnt know me, he never failed to make me smile whenever I passby his workstation.
I’m just happy to see him in the office. That’s all. Him and his eyeglasses. Whenever I got overloaded work, seeing him is already enough to inspire me.
And he is leaving.
And that is too sad.
And the only thing I’m going to keep is that heartstopping moment inside the elevator.
That I’d probably forget in time.